PART 1
We often give a call – Tell us about yourself. And trust me, there is pin-drop silence. Write about yourself and people can write no more than their schooling background, parents’ name and postal address!
The most ignorant part of us – OUR FEELINGS! How many times have you heard people saying – it’s not about me, I can adjust, but I don’t want my kids, husband, parents, colleagues to suffer. It doesn’t matter what I feel or thinks about the situation, but I am worried about what people might think about it!
How do you feel? What pain is that? This is the time to acknowledge your feelings and be kind to yourself. I have experienced clients being able to decode what others are feeling or suffering and yet come down to us for treating depression. What is that unique technique to heal depression? It is to bring to your notice – you are important, your life matters! Look within things that you do… Appreciate your achievements! It is when you start looking into the mirror as an individual worthy enough is when you get over depression.
Depression can only subside when you have a self-worth equivalent to your perceptions about others.
PART 2
Sacrifice – Is it a good virtue?
Why is it that we do not consider ourselves important? Why is sacrifice the greatest virtue in our upbringing? Are we confusing between being kind and be able to sacrifice? Can a person who stands up for himself/herself lacks being kind to others? If kindness is important, then shouldn’t we be the first kind to our own self?
We come across people who have sacrificed their lives for the betterment of others. Has it always been worth it? So many of these have stored their dead desires within, those unexpressed words still finding a comfortable space inside. They have been so much conditioned to sacrifice that if for a change they get even the smallest wish fulfilled they feel criminalized to enjoy that joy!
In almost every role that we play – mother, father, brother, daughter-in-law, sister, etc. some sacrifices are expected. Isn’t this generation running behind friends more than relatives? It’s the least expectation zone! You do not sacrifice and please your higher self, you only miss out on an opportunity to enlighten yourself with an experience and unaware that this feeling gives you a sense of fulfilment, your higher self keeps putting you in more such situations, so that the moment you take a stand and not give up on an opportunity, you can rise to the next level. But… we feel some insanely unrealistic satisfaction in becoming the epitome of Sacrifice that we continue to waste our life.
PART 3
One classic example is that of a MOTHER! This character has been glorified beyond the limits of one’s individual personality. You are expected to make sacrifices only because you are a MOTHER. Shouldn’t being a mother be a choice for every woman? Slowly we are accepting this thought, but what after being a mother? The kid must understand over the years that his/her mother is an individual being and that she is not expected to keep him/her before her every time. She caters to their needs and she has every right to draw her line, when and where she feels are the limits. Long poetries depicting a mother’s sacrifice are glorified setting stereotypes for other women to follow. But ask her, how many experiences has she missed out on that her body keeps reminding her of – her joint pains, her headaches, her hormonal changes. If only she could fight her fear and keep herself beyond her role of being a mother, could she lead a more fulfilled life?
PART 4
Acknowledging your feelings should be the most basic experience. You will not fear judgments if you are at ease with expressing your desires. If you can read others but are confused when asked to Say something about yourself, then it is time you acknowledge the fact that you haven’t given the required attention to yourself.
Listen to yourself, live life on your terms, be comfortable in your space. And if it gets any difficult there – #seekhelp